vroom vroom hop on!

let's go for a ride

from mosswood park

to the east side

and to the cemetery all the way up

with a beer in my bag

we'll drink it up

whoa ooo ya ya

honda moto

with the wind at my back

and the sun on my face

we'll ride this thing

allover the place

beep beep! grab the bars

and hold on tight!

turn my lights on, ride on

into the night

whoa ooo ya ya

honda moto

they try and catch me everywhere i go

i'm not that fast, but they're too slow

let's cruise on down the auto row

on my

honda moto

putt putt it stalled

cuz i ran outta gas

guess i had too much fun,

i was going too fast


hey stephen,

they told me that dreams don't come true

so i'll stay asleep till those words

don't apply to the dreams i have about you

i've got it bad and it's becoming clear

that listening to your pavement records

won't actually bring you here

if you only knew me

maybe you would love me too

i think we could be

together till reality cuts right through

my dream

hey stephen malkmus

how can i find the words to say

that i love you and i'll keep waiting

all alone until the day

when we'll play tennis

we'd be a perfect match

i'll tag you on twitter

"<3 @dronecoma's such a catch <3"

we'll shred in your studio

bangin out and havin fun

then i'll make you coffee

you'll tell me i'm the only one

but you're my

unattainable guy

you're my

unattainable guy


looking out my window

i see people laughin

the sun in shining

but i just wanna stay in my room

i'm catching up on nypd blue

how am i gonna pay the rent

when all my money's spent

gotta find another job

i'm crushing on bobby simone

and lounging in my sweats at home

i'm lazy

and it's not me

i'd rather be working

but i'm unemployed

how am i gonna pay the rent

now that my money's spent

gotta get another job

my credit's all maxed out

gotta move to another town

it's a good thing whiskey's cheap

cuz i drink myself to sleep

i lay in bed all day

and cry until my tears all go away

then i'll find a better job

where i'll make more money

i'll be employed

sell my soul to tech bros

work in a cubicle row

gotta get another job



i write my message

to nobody but you

my penpal far away

a letter everyday

to you, my buddy

to you, my pal

your secret's safe with me

i read it while i drink my tea

my friend in wisconsin

i sit and drink you in

oh you, my buddy

oh you, my pal

run to the mailbox

open up your letter

love our time together

though i've never met her

i've got a penpal

yeah, i've got a friend

how far is it?

2,000 miles be there in a while

but when's it gonna get here?

4 states away gonna get there in a day

have you seen the mailman yet?

he's up the street and he's headed this way

are you expecting a letter, miss?

can't wait to read what you're gonna say!


long gone

are the friends we had

now they make me so sad

and it breaks my heart


at the things that they said

guess we got in their head

and it breaks my heart

to think of all the times

when we would go to shows and to the movies

talkin trash

now in a flash

they're gone

burnt out

were you ever my friend because i'm feelin some doubt

and disappointment

save some face

and keep that smile on

buck up, bud

your friends are all gone

group dynamics never were my thing


guess we got in their way

got play on the airwaves

hot off the press

and yes, some friends are just a mess

it's easier to make up lies about why we suck

and what we've done and the guys we've fucked

and so forth and so on


he drives a red sleigh and reindeer

yeah, i love his big smile

his red cheeks and his snowwhite


have you been naughty have you been nice?

oh honey, you know he checks his list twice


trim the tree with tinsel and glee

if your stocking is hung then you know

he'll for sure come

i set out my cookies for you

oh santa, make all my wishes come true

ooooooooooohhh ho ho ho ho!

i'm all cozy by the fire

oh santa, you fill me with desire

i'm waiting patiently for you

to bring me those presents

but santa, we're not through

give me that package, santa dear

oh honey, i've been a goodgirl all year



give me one good reason

why i shouldn't be a heathen

well i tried to be like you

i did all i could to

you've got your god

i've got my skateboard and my guitar

you're having kids

i'm having whiskey at the bar

call me immature

i guess i'm going to hell

well who fucking cares

i read your scripture

i was the perfect little picture

but i figured it out

and i'm having fun now

you've got your god

i've got my moto in my garage

you're having kids

i'm having whiskey on a party barge

call me immature

i guess i'm going to hell

well who fucking cares



bowl me over


i swear i was sober

i saw you in the lanes just the other day

you were shiny bright and pink

so i had to look your way

you got three holes and you're nice and round

so i took you for a spin

'hey! i knocked three pins down!'


bowl me over


i swear i was sober

well gutters or no gutters

oh, i don't care

cuz you're my goodluck charm

i got at least two spares

gotta make you mine

take you under my arm

let me finish my beer

and then let's get out of here!


how many texts

does it take till you get

what you want from me?

and what do you do

when your text goes through

and i don't respond to you?

because you're creepin

yeah, you're creepin

oh you're creepin

into my life

well you're creepy

always creepin in

and now you're seepin

into my life

what's said to me

can't be fixed or undone

by a colon and parenthesis

how many lies will you tell

till you die

till you're dead to me?



On 37th St.

There's no where else I'd rather be

Just get on your bike and fine

there's no better peace of mind

than on 37th St.

Well we can waste the days away

beleaguered by our lack of pay

but I prefer to ramble on


On 37th St.

There's no where else I'd rather be

Just get on your bike and fine

there's no better peace of mind

than on 37th St.

Our friends are all on the bleachers

with tall cans and sneakers

We'll start the week off right

It's 4:30, I'm real thirsty

I'm gonna go to Sana Market

There's another funeral,

no parking, nowhere to go.



I met you in line at the DMV

You said you like my dress

You like my hair

Saw you missed 5 points on your

Driver's test

Well it's a really hard test

So I don't care

Though you're only 16

You're my teenage DMV Dream

I should've U-turned right when

I first saw you come in

Never been in jail for robbing the cradle

If you kissed me your braces

Would cut my lips

And now I'm bleeding for you

My heart is pleading

But you're only 16

You're my teenage DMV Dream

Why don't you parallel park

into my heart

Shift into third gear

Let's go drive until it's dark

Roll my moonroof down we'll

sleep under the stars

Turn my signal on love me until

it's dawn

I know how to drive stick



oh my little oreck

it wasn't euphoric

and i'm not impressed

next time i'll go bagless, baby

you're only 8 pounds

but you're taking up space

and you never clean my place

you look at me inadequately

and i've got chores to do

i'll get a hoover

cuz i'm oover you

you lost suction

and we didn't function

if i had a dime for every

time i tried, baby

i'd be rich

i'd be a real bitch

and then i'd tell you

"oh, hey, little oreck, we're through"

but i'll sweep dirt under the rug

till it piles up

and bitterness grows too

i'll get a hoover

cuz i'm oover you