HONDA MOTO//
vroom vroom hop on!
let's go for a ride
from mosswood park
to the east side
and to the cemetery all the way up
with a beer in my bag
we'll drink it up
whoa ooo ya ya
honda moto
with the wind at my back
and the sun on my face
we'll ride this thing
allover the place
beep beep! grab the bars
and hold on tight!
turn my lights on, ride on
into the night
whoa ooo ya ya
honda moto
they try and catch me everywhere i go
i'm not that fast, but they're too slow
let's cruise on down the auto row
on my
honda moto
putt putt it stalled
cuz i ran outta gas
guess i had too much fun,
i was going too fast
STEPHEN MALKMUS//
hey stephen,
they told me that dreams don't come true
so i'll stay asleep till those words
don't apply to the dreams i have about you
i've got it bad and it's becoming clear
that listening to your pavement records
won't actually bring you here
if you only knew me
maybe you would love me too
i think we could be
together till reality cuts right through
my dream
hey stephen malkmus
how can i find the words to say
that i love you and i'll keep waiting
all alone until the day
when we'll play tennis
we'd be a perfect match
i'll tag you on twitter
"<3 @dronecoma's such a catch <3"
we'll shred in your studio
bangin out and havin fun
then i'll make you coffee
you'll tell me i'm the only one
but you're my
unattainable guy
you're my
unattainable guy
UNEMPLOYED//
looking out my window
i see people laughin
the sun in shining
but i just wanna stay in my room
i'm catching up on nypd blue
how am i gonna pay the rent
when all my money's spent
gotta find another job
i'm crushing on bobby simone
and lounging in my sweats at home
i'm lazy
and it's not me
i'd rather be working
but i'm unemployed
how am i gonna pay the rent
now that my money's spent
gotta get another job
my credit's all maxed out
gotta move to another town
it's a good thing whiskey's cheap
cuz i drink myself to sleep
i lay in bed all day
and cry until my tears all go away
then i'll find a better job
where i'll make more money
i'll be employed
sell my soul to tech bros
work in a cubicle row
gotta get another job
PENPAL//
i write my message
to nobody but you
my penpal far away
a letter everyday
to you, my buddy
to you, my pal
your secret's safe with me
i read it while i drink my tea
my friend in wisconsin
i sit and drink you in
oh you, my buddy
oh you, my pal
run to the mailbox
open up your letter
love our time together
though i've never met her
i've got a penpal
yeah, i've got a friend
how far is it?
2,000 miles be there in a while
but when's it gonna get here?
4 states away gonna get there in a day
have you seen the mailman yet?
he's up the street and he's headed this way
are you expecting a letter, miss?
can't wait to read what you're gonna say!
BUTTHURT//
long gone
are the friends we had
now they make me so sad
and it breaks my heart
upset
at the things that they said
guess we got in their head
and it breaks my heart
to think of all the times
when we would go to shows and to the movies
talkin trash
now in a flash
they're gone
burnt out
were you ever my friend because i'm feelin some doubt
and disappointment
save some face
and keep that smile on
buck up, bud
your friends are all gone
group dynamics never were my thing
mayday
guess we got in their way
got play on the airwaves
hot off the press
and yes, some friends are just a mess
it's easier to make up lies about why we suck
and what we've done and the guys we've fucked
and so forth and so on
SANTA DEAR//
he drives a red sleigh and reindeer
yeah, i love his big smile
his red cheeks and his snowwhite
beard
have you been naughty have you been nice?
oh honey, you know he checks his list twice
trim the tree with tinsel and glee
if your stocking is hung then you know
he'll for sure come
i set out my cookies for you
oh santa, make all my wishes come true
ooooooooooohhh ho ho ho ho!
i'm all cozy by the fire
oh santa, you fill me with desire
i'm waiting patiently for you
to bring me those presents
but santa, we're not through
give me that package, santa dear
oh honey, i've been a goodgirl all year
HAIL SK8TN//
give me one good reason
why i shouldn't be a heathen
well i tried to be like you
i did all i could to
you've got your god
i've got my skateboard and my guitar
you're having kids
i'm having whiskey at the bar
call me immature
i guess i'm going to hell
well who fucking cares
i read your scripture
i was the perfect little picture
but i figured it out
and i'm having fun now
you've got your god
i've got my moto in my garage
you're having kids
i'm having whiskey on a party barge
call me immature
i guess i'm going to hell
well who fucking cares
CAPRICE!//
caprice!
bowl me over
caprice!
i swear i was sober
i saw you in the lanes just the other day
you were shiny bright and pink
so i had to look your way
you got three holes and you're nice and round
so i took you for a spin
'hey! i knocked three pins down!'
caprice!
bowl me over
caprice!
i swear i was sober
well gutters or no gutters
oh, i don't care
cuz you're my goodluck charm
i got at least two spares
gotta make you mine
take you under my arm
let me finish my beer
and then let's get out of here!
CREEPER//
how many texts
does it take till you get
what you want from me?
and what do you do
when your text goes through
and i don't respond to you?
because you're creepin
yeah, you're creepin
oh you're creepin
into my life
well you're creepy
always creepin in
and now you're seepin
into my life
what's said to me
can't be fixed or undone
by a colon and parenthesis
how many lies will you tell
till you die
till you're dead to me?
37TH STREET//
On 37th St.
There's no where else I'd rather be
Just get on your bike and fine
there's no better peace of mind
than on 37th St.
Well we can waste the days away
beleaguered by our lack of pay
but I prefer to ramble on
WITH WHISKEY IN HAND!
On 37th St.
There's no where else I'd rather be
Just get on your bike and fine
there's no better peace of mind
than on 37th St.
Our friends are all on the bleachers
with tall cans and sneakers
We'll start the week off right
It's 4:30, I'm real thirsty
I'm gonna go to Sana Market
There's another funeral,
no parking, nowhere to go.
DMV DREAM//
I met you in line at the DMV
You said you like my dress
You like my hair
Saw you missed 5 points on your
Driver's test
Well it's a really hard test
So I don't care
Though you're only 16
You're my teenage DMV Dream
I should've U-turned right when
I first saw you come in
Never been in jail for robbing the cradle
If you kissed me your braces
Would cut my lips
And now I'm bleeding for you
My heart is pleading
But you're only 16
You're my teenage DMV Dream
Why don't you parallel park
into my heart
Shift into third gear
Let's go drive until it's dark
Roll my moonroof down we'll
sleep under the stars
Turn my signal on love me until
it's dawn
I know how to drive stick
YOU SUCK//
oh my little oreck
it wasn't euphoric
and i'm not impressed
next time i'll go bagless, baby
you're only 8 pounds
but you're taking up space
and you never clean my place
you look at me inadequately
and i've got chores to do
i'll get a hoover
cuz i'm oover you
you lost suction
and we didn't function
if i had a dime for every
time i tried, baby
i'd be rich
i'd be a real bitch
and then i'd tell you
"oh, hey, little oreck, we're through"
but i'll sweep dirt under the rug
till it piles up
and bitterness grows too
i'll get a hoover
cuz i'm oover you